Understanding Bullying
In my role as The Bully Coach™, while guiding and educating others, I think it is important for us to think about and understand bullies and the different types of bullying.
Bullying is a global widespread issue that affects individuals across all ages and backgrounds.
Understanding what constitutes bullying and recognising the different types, can empower us to address and prevent this behavior effectively.
Some of us may feel there is no excuse for bullying.
But, according to Dr Wong Hwei Ming, a Senior Education Research Scientist, UNESCO: - “nobody aspires to be a bully. There are often underlying reasons resulting in children becoming one.
Often bullies are insecure and bullying is a means to gain control of their lives, for example, parents’ divorce which is out of their control. Sometimes, bullying is a learned behaviour from significant adults in the family.
It is important to comprehend the reason(s) why a child bullies, while tackling the bullying behaviour; otherwise, any action taken will only suppress the bullying temporarily before it resurfaces.” (Wong, 2015).
And the same goes for adults, who may also once have been those children: being a bully indicates insecurity, a need for control, a sense of powerlessness, or enjoyment.
But, whatever the cause, this doesn't take away from the effects on victims which can be serious and potentially devastating.
We need to help the bullies in childhood and adulthood change their behaviour and face the challenges that are shaping their bullying behaviour.
What is a bully?
A bully is someone who repeatedly seeks to harm, intimidate, or exert power over others, typically those perceived as vulnerable or weaker. Bullying can manifest in various forms, from physical aggression to emotional manipulation.
Types of bullies and bullying:
Verbal bullying: Verbal bullying involves using words to harm or intimidate others. This can include name-calling, insults, threats, or spreading rumors with the intent to hurt someone emotionally.
Emotional bullying: Emotional bullying targets the victim's emotions, self-esteem, and mental well-being. It can involve manipulation, coercion, or psychological abuse* aimed at causing distress or emotional harm.
Physical Bullying: This involves direct physical aggression or harm inflicted upon the victim. It may include hitting, kicking, pushing, or any other form of physical violence.
Social bullying: Also known as relational bullying, this type of bullying involves manipulating social relationships to harm or isolate the victim. It may include spreading rumors, excluding someone from social activities, or damaging someone's reputation.
Cyberbullying: In today's digital age, bullies may use technology to harass, intimidate, or humiliate others. Cyberbullying can occur through social media platforms, text messages, emails, or other online channels.
Sexual bullying: This form of bullying involves unwanted sexual comments, advances, or harassment. It can also include spreading rumors or sharing explicit content without consent to embarrass or humiliate the victim.
*Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person manipulates information to make you question your own reality, thoughts, feelings, and memories. It's a way of control that can cause long-lasting harm.
Why addressing bullying is Important.
Bullying can have serious and long-lasting consequences for both the victim and the perpetrator, as I described in my last article.
It can lead to emotional trauma, depression, anxiety, and even physical harm.
Additionally, bullying can create a toxic environment that negatively impacts the well-being of individuals and communities.
If bullying is subtle and goes unnoticed, it can still have significant effects on our well-being.
In such cases, it's important to trust your instincts and pay attention to any feelings of discomfort or unease. If you suspect you might be experiencing subtle forms of bullying, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional for support and perspective.
You deserve to feel safe and respected in all aspects of your life - by understanding the different types of bullies and bullying behaviors in the different environments, we can work towards creating safer and more inclusive spaces where everyone feels respected and valued.
Together, let us stand against bullying with education and promote kindness, empathy, and acceptance.
Lara 💛
#endbullying #kindnessmatters #stopbullying #antibullying #mentalhealth
Here are some organisations I recommend as resources. Please don't hesitate to reach out to speak with someone if you're experiencing or affected by any of the issues mentioned above.
The National Bullying Helpline
Mind - The truth about bullying and mental health
